Forgiveness

The hardest thing we can ever do is find that element within ourselves to forgive those who trespass against us. As Christians, we know it's commanded of us to do so however, we often find ourselves feeding the fire. Recently my friends list has been dwindling down a bit. Last week I determined that a friend I had simply wasn't good for me; of course this was no fault of my own. I was helping a girl with a "stalker" issue recently.However I noticed a few issues with the story I had been given; apparently a friend I talked to noticed something was off also. My friend and I (who I shall keep anonymous) was going to help her out with a group of guys who was "giving her trouble." He was a good friend to have since he has a lot of contacts who can financially help since the police here aren't competent to do anything. Our job was to do some ethical hacking (which she knew about and even requested at one point.) However, my friend (who was helping this girl) had PM'd me and told me that he didn't think she was being honest about her situation. He informed me that her mental state toward it wasn't consistent with that of a person who was in fact being stalked. Long story short, I found out the hard way that she was lying. One day at college I had 4 friends tell me at 4 different times that she was telling people that I was stalking her. Without hesitation I removed her from my Facebook friends list; in this type of case, you do that as a safety precaution. I informed my other friend that he was correct and told him what happened... long story short, he sent her a very hateful PM and blocked her. Though I haven't blocked her from my FB page, I don't intend to be her friend after what she did to me. But what does this have to do with forgiveness? In my situation, I could hold a grudge and not forgive her. However, I see that she is clearly not mentally sound and appears to be suffering from delusions that every man is out to get her; probably a result of an abusive childhood... In this case, it's not her fault.

As Christians we often forget that we cannot be forgiven of our sins if we don't forgive others. I recently sent an email to the first girl I talked about... you know, the one I liked... Apologized for anything I may have done wrong. Naturally, she still trashes me (a few people have been kind enough to inform me that she's mentioned my email in a not so nice way.) However, by sending the email, I made a step to mending whatever problem she was having with me therefore relieving myself of any possible guilt; in this case, it's now between her and God. The lessons that can be taken from this post is this:

We sometimes can't help who and what we are. However, we CAN help rather or not we forgive people of their transgressions. By not holding onto hatred, anger, and other negative emotions God can better work in us. However, when we fail to forgive people of their transgressions (accidental or not) or simply refuse to forgive... than God can't use us and we become useless. In my first example, I hold no negative emotions toward the girl because I understand that she can't help her past nor mental state. However, in example 2 that girl can't let go of whatever her problem would be with me and therefore has become useless to God until such time that she can forgive, forget, and in this case even grow up a little. However, in the end we dictate rather or not God can use us... remember, he can't use somebody who holds in hatred, anger, etc. because those emotions fester within us and can eventually turn to hatred. There's nothing wrong with being angry, that isn't a sin. The sin is when we don't act in a mature fashion when angry. For example, gossiping about the person you're mad at and not speaking a word to them. Anyways, I hope this helps whoever so reads it. Feel free to leave comments.

~PAX~